I loved this piece. Thank you for the long, winding, and deeply researched path. In my sobriety journey, abstinence is an essential unwinding (and identifying) of so many deeply engrained (and intergenerational) unconscious beliefs, behaviors, and physiological responses. I need abstinence to reset my nervous system. It’s been almost two years, and might be for the rest of my life — I don’t know yet.

Thank you for this distinction between drinking alone to escape and drinking together to bond. I lost someone I loved to a toxic consumption of alcohol. And she was home alone when it happened.

I know I’m not alone in my personal and familial baggage with alcohol that makes it impossible (and unhelpful) to just drink less, or even worse (in its shame heaping and malicious marketing) to drink responsibly. The lie that alcohol is only bad for you if you have a disease is absurd and entirely too effective at diverting our attention from the truth that alcohol is addictive and addiction is progressive.

I don't think it's possible for Americans to truly (or safely) use alcohol for bonding until we can respect (and admit) how harmful it is.

Our cultural devotion to the lie that red wine is good for our hearts is misguided at best and murderous at worst.

I wish we didn’t need such a dangerous and harmful shortcut to the belonging, creativity, and connections we crave (need and deserve).I wish we could create the cultural sea change we need to stop lying about our dysfunctional relationship with alcohol and start finding ways to create, find joy and live well without drinking too much. There are no simple answers to igniting this change, but I'm hopeful that the critical education in stories like this can only help. Thank you.