The Anatomy of Waiting
And why it’s so very, very hard.
A teacher of mine says uncertainty is scary for humans. When we relied on hunting and gathering to survive, it was evolutionarily beneficial for our bodies to freak out when we heard an unfamiliar sound. And to be soothed when we knew where to find berries in the same place, every time — that we knew with certainty, were safe to eat. We are now navigating modernity with that biology. And evolution is not a quick process.
This is why waiting is so hard. Waiting forces us to experience uncertainty — and uncertainty is triggering for humans. When we are triggered we feel fundamentally unsafe. And we don’t feel, or perform, our best. And if we are being real, when we are triggered, we mostly do and say things we regret. And make us feel terrible.
In a moment of waiting, we face a critical choice that usually happens so fast — we don’t even recognize it as a choice. I want to simplify the anatomy of waiting to illustrate this choice:
Something happens.
We experience uncertainty: true not knowing.
That stimulates our nervous system to:
A. Spin out with blame, shame, or drama in an attempt to get the pain outside of the body — and settle temporarily when the external conditions feel safer.
